“I Do”—A Season of Vows and Reflections on Ethiopian Marriage

Pastor/Priest to the bride: “Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only to him forevermore?”
Bride: “I do.”

Indeed, there is a season for everything under the sun, as the Holy Bible reminds us. And now, the season of weddings is in full bloom once again. With the fasting season behind us, joyful couples across Ethiopia are eagerly stepping into one of life’s most profound journeys—the sacred union of marriage.

It’s that time of year when the words “I do” echo through churches across the country, especially on weekends in the months of April and May. These words carry immense emotional and spiritual weight, spoken before God, family, and community. For many, it is the fulfillment of months—sometimes years—of dreaming, planning, and hoping.

In Ethiopia, where religious traditions are deeply woven into social fabric (and often culturally expected), most weddings take place in churches. A friend once told me, “Marriages are made in heaven, but celebrated on earth.” How true that is. The wedding ceremony symbolizes the physical, emotional, and spiritual uniting of two people, a sacred ritual most fittingly held within a house of worship.

The Foundation of Society

The institution of marriage holds significant value—not just for the couple—but for society at large. It forms the foundation of the family, which, in turn, is the cornerstone of a stable community. Across cultures, ethnicities, and religions, marriage has remained a universal tradition. While the customs may differ, the core idea remains the same: marriage is a bridge between generations, a way to preserve culture, and a vessel to carry civilization forward.

In Ethiopia, weddings are not just about two individuals—they often involve the union of two families, or even two communities. These celebrations are marked by abundant feasting, dancing, and rituals that may last for days or even weeks, especially in rural areas. Despite regional and ethnic variations, this collective spirit is something beautifully Ethiopian.

Shifting Traditions and Encouraging Progress

That said, times are changing. Traditional customs—especially arranged marriages—are slowly fading in urban areas, thanks largely to the spread of modern education and evolving social attitudes. Early marriage, once widespread, has also shown signs of decline over the past decade. That’s certainly something to be celebrated.

Arranged marriages were originally intended to ensure compatibility and harmony, but over time, they took forms that often stifled personal choice. And while they haven’t completely disappeared—especially in rural or traditional settings—the shift toward greater autonomy in choosing a life partner is welcome.

Sometimes, I wonder: is there really much difference between the old-school arranged marriage and today’s high-tech matchmaking—dating apps, reality shows, and computer-generated “compatibility scores”? In both cases, strangers are matched, and hopes are pinned on finding “the one.” Food for thought.

Time for Balance

While the progress is promising, we still have some cultural homework to do. One area of concern is the excessive spending on weddings. The pressure to host lavish ceremonies has led many families into financial strain—even conflict—long after the guests have gone home. In a country where poverty remains a challenge, this extravagance seems out of place.

Another tradition that’s losing its authenticity is the shimaglewoch—a respected group of elders sent by the groom to ask for the bride’s hand. While once a meaningful gesture of respect and negotiation, it has become more symbolic than substantial. In most cases today, everyone knows the wedding will go ahead regardless of the elders’ formal request. So why continue the charade?

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not against traditions. On the contrary, I believe in honoring them. But tradition should serve people, not the other way around. We must develop the wisdom to know which practices to preserve and which to evolve.

A Sacred Commitment

At its core, marriage is one of life’s greatest commitments. It is both a celebration of love and a solemn promise. Ethiopia’s transition away from restrictive customs and toward more balanced, meaningful unions is worth acknowledging. However, let’s not get swept away by modernity without reflection. The goal isn’t to abandon our heritage, but to enrich it—choosing what uplifts us and releasing what holds us back.

So, did I hear someone say, “I do”?

Pastor/Priest: “May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.”

Congratulations. You may now kiss the bride.